Choose your battle wisely
A phrase that, alongside "everything happens for a reason," has become my life motto. It was only a few years ago that I felt the need to fight every "battle" I named out of principle, even though many of them couldn't have mattered less to me. It took me a long time to realize that this approach consumed a lot of energy without adding much value, until I nearly burned out. At some point, my manager at the time said this very memorable phrase to me: choose your battle wisely, meaning, think carefully about what is truly worth fighting for.
What does this have to do with change? First, we should always ask ourselves if we currently have the energy to invest in significant changes. If I'm going through a difficult personal situation, planning to start my own side business, and on top of that, looking for a new full-time employer, then I'd advise against any spontaneous, drastic changes. Ask yourself in advance: What has priority? What is most urgent? What can wait? Coaching can help bring clarity to such situations.
There are also people who pursue big changes without fully understanding the consequences. While I would never discourage change, it's worth first reflecting on the motives behind it. For example, if I want to change jobs just because it seems like the current trend in my circle, a shift in perspective might help. Would I recommend this step to my best friend? Or would I first examine the conditions and consequences before diving into change?
A useful model for becoming aware of the impacts of a decision is the 5 Pillars of Identity model by H. Petzold. The five pillars represent Physicality, Social Context, Material Security, Work and Performance, and Values. The balance of these individual pillars is essential for maintaining the stability of one’s life structure.
This model can be applied to a variety of coaching approaches. I particularly like using it with my coachees to visualize the impacts of significant changes and to simplify the decision-making process. Does my change offer added value? Is the effort worth it?
It's worthwhile to first take a close look at your current situation: Under the current job conditions, how would I rate my current health (physicality) on a scale from 0 to 10 (0 = very poor, 10 = as good as it gets)? Do I like the social context? Can I maintain friendships, and do I like my team? Does my current job provide the material security I need? Do I enjoy my tasks, or have I long been yearning for a job that better matches my abilities? Does my current job offer a work environment that aligns with my values?
These are just example questions; in a coaching session, there are many reflections one can make using the 5 pillars.
Next, you would focus on the change. For example, how would changing jobs affect my health? Will my work-life balance shift because I'll work more or less? Do I have to move for the new job and lose my social environment? Will I earn more or less money? Would I gain new skills from a job change that could be useful to me? What values are important to me, and can the new employer meet these? Once again, use the 0-10 scale to evaluate each pillar.
Afterward, you can compare your current situation with the hypothetical scenario of a job change and weigh whether this change would really be worthwhile. Furthermore, this coaching method can help you identify which pillars hold particular personal significance and what a change should ideally bring with it.
Thus, before any major change, it’s worth asking: Is the effort worth it? Where is my added value? What are my compromises? Choose your battle wisely!
